Nor your token gay best friend.
If the title made you roll your eyes thinking this was going to be an article talking about how badly I want to love Trump and be an openly gay Republican, you are absolutely wrong. In fact, I am a loud and proud Non-Party Affiliate, or Independent, but that’s a subject for another article at some other time. Moving forward, I am sick and tired of identity politics, plain and simple. At one point in my life when I was insecure beyond belief, then the whole concept spoke to me. Now? Absolutely not. Labels are for cartons of cigarettes and beer bottles, not human beings.
There was a time when I was fifteen years old, freshly out of the closet door into a whole new world rocking rainbow shades and cotton candy kicks. At that point, I needed the identity clutch for personal safety. My Floridian hometown, Boca Raton, was and still is a bubble filled with affluent morons who only care for their money, luxuries, and ignorance. As an outsider, I naturally wanted to be with those of my kind and wear them all on my sleeve to show off to the common-man. What seemed to have no price then came to be expensive as I grew older and more stable with a secured sense of self. The same attitude came and went when I first transitioned to becoming a Vegan as well.
Now as a Vegan, there comes a strong stereotype based off an angry human being walking up to Beyonce and bashing her for wearing fur. The angry woman does not speak for me and neither do Organizations like PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) and many of their extremities. In fact, I laugh at the stereotypical Vegans because the militant style attitude just does not sit well with me. Yet, any common person would not know that about me when I mention that I am a Vegan. Almost every single time I bring it up casually, the other side gets extremely defensive against a preconceived notion of an agenda that is not there. I could give two dumps about whatever they are eating and most of the time I just want to talk about delicious cuisine.
To most Vegans, that is complacency at its finest and activism is the only thing that matters when it comes to saving animals. At the end of the day, IDGAF. Personally, my message of Veganism had affected those positively when my words were factual without rage and served on a candy-coated platter rather than a flaming hot saucepan. And let me make something clear: watching the world consume livestock breaks my heart and disgusts me every day, but if someone did not ask for my opinion then I will respect their humanity and not give it to them. I’d rather not kick a dead horse that never wanted to drink its water.
Moving forward with the LGBTQ community, I do not know where to begin. Starting off with politics, the waters are fiercer than the Atlantic Ocean under a hurricane and I evacuated to the West Coast. My perception of “Queer” culture is a negative one due to the divisive politicization of the identity as a whole. I do not want to be associated with a group of people who cannot hear others’ opinions because they prefer to live under house arrest in their safe spaces far from dissenting opinions. If someone supports Trump, that’s their business and no matter how much I scream and yell, they still will support him and hate my beliefs so much more. Even if their opinion sucks, they are entitled to it just like I am to mine and everyone else is to theirs. Also, this goes back to the approach, and even more so the way we treat others who think differently than us.
For example, I recall a time when Caitlyn Jenner was excommunicated from the LGBTQ community almost immediately because she infamously said on the “Ellen Show” that she did not support gay marriage at first. The rage that followed was completely understandable, but the treatment of a rookie was not. Rather than give someone a chance to understand our cause and grow into a new path of tolerance, it’s as if she was pink balled from everything LGBTQ. I am not condoning anyone who does not believe that I deserve to marry and settle down with children, but I am also not condoning hypocritical behavior. Everyone has an opinion, and the more someone dwells on that fact, the more they suffer. Why would I want to be a part of that mindset and let a majority think for me when I can think for myself?
And even if it’s not about politics, what about my association in general? Do I have to go to every single Pride Parade just because it exists? Absolutely not. There is a cultural aspect of male homosexuality that makes me question love and morality to no end. You won’t catch me at The Abbey in WeHo on a Friday night nor at any gay bar really because I will probably be at CVS window shopping or home watching YouTube and playing with my dog. Party and play is a phenomenon that I understand just as much as I do the Hungarian language, and I have absolutely no desire to learn either of them.
Generally, I don’t always ponder about these topics because they do not matter to me. However, my point is that they should not have to matter to me just because I would rather wake up next to a man than a woman. Sam Smith is not my idol just because he is an openly gay pop star and my condescending ex best-friend has no place in my heart even if she is one of the only Vegan friends I’ve had. We can’t expect that every straight white person is going to be a Republican and that every black person should register as a Democrat to save their own kind. And if a straight, white somebody is a Liberal and a black somebody is a Republican then good for them both. If not, I still say kudos anyways and raise my glass.
Overall, these sentiments do not come from a single ounce of internalized homophobia because I have none of that in my system. At most I am just frustrated by the politics and assumptions that come along with being gay and Vegan. If I have to be a Hillary Clinton loving liberal who thinks every Republican is a Nazi just to maintain my “gay card”, then whoever has the authority can take it and burn it with pleasure. Additionally, just because I can’t stomach Hillary and extreme liberal ideology does not mean that I love Trump and condone extreme conservative ideology, because I don’t. Extremism in all forms is detrimental to society.
Needless to say there is nothing wrong with whom you support politically and how you choose to live your life, just don’t expect me to feel the same way you do because we share the same preferences. The same goes to the outsiders of these identities. Nobody should be obligated to be a certain way or believe in a specific political ideology just because the majority population says so. That’s the whole point of a democracy and I will never take that for granted.