Because all these extremities are much sweeter than conformity.
On most nights when I lay my head to rest, I say thanks for the way I have been wired since birth. Even before I knew how to say “fuck you” to society, I was in that frame of mind. The earliest I remember being true to myself was when I had switched over to a private school in the third grade where everyone bullied me. From that point on, I was constantly harassed with the idea that it is NOT okay to be an individual; Society is the master and we all have to take a whip. However, many scars later from being whipped I still refuse to conform to society. These are the five things I would rather do than sell my soul to the devil, aka social norms.
#1. Sit On a Pineapple
You heard that one right! I would rather sit on a pineapple with no lube than tone down my erratic ways of being. And to my ex best friend who told me I should care about what people think of me, please know that sitting on top of three pineapples sounds more appetizing. Wanna know why? Because liberation is sweet as the very pineapple that I’d let penetrate me if I had to give that up. However, my refusal to do so means more tasty fruit for me!
#2. Swallow a Bag of Thumbtacks
Do you get where I’m going with this? Swallowing a bag of pointy pins just seems to appeal more to my appetite than fitting in. The standards in which society holds everyone to is poison, and I feel I’d be safer swallowing needles indefinitely. I mean, walking down West Hollywood being surrounded by plastic makes me believe that knives would taste better than perfection. Yes, KNIVES motherfucker.
#3. Have Sex With the President
Had it been Obama, this would have not ended up on the list because that man is sexy as fuck. However, with this president, one could imagine the sacrifices that would be made to preserve individual liberty. If there were a gun held to my head telling me that I had to sleep with Trump and preserve my freedom or lose it all together, I would take one for the team of rebels worldwide. Although I couldn’t imagine working with a tic-tac, I’d make it work.
#4. Eat a Pile of Dog Shit
Because that would fulfill me more than changing who I am as a person to please a system that wasn’t built for me. And if I’m gonna have to get down to the dirty, top that with cat urine as a seasoning please. Eating a bag of dog poop would be more spiritually nutritious than spending 24/7 at Gold’s Gym to get that beautiful, “life changing” body. Maybe it could even substitute steroids and toxic masculinity as a healthier alternative. One could imagine and wonder, yeah?
If you’ve made it this far into the article without cringing, congratulations. You have come to the serious point I am about to make if this didn’t speak for itself. I would rather hang from the roof by a rope than change myself to please anybody and everybody else. I cannot live for a society that values materials over humanity. Maybe it’s just a Western thing, but even if so, I refuse. I am who I am because of how often I was told that it was a sin to be so. In my eyes, the true sin is selling your soul to the devil.
I am who I am in spite of acceptable ways of being and I will fight to keep it that way for as long as I am living. And it is not just about me, but once again everyone who always felt they could never be themselves. It’s time we stop giving a flying fuck about society and start living lives that fulfill us. At the end of the day, what people think of you does not matter one bit. You’ll never see half the strangers whose opinions you care so much about ever again after one instance or another. So, I give a finger to all those who demand my value as a human being be based upon what’s expected of me. GTFOH.