For my first episode, I wanted to address a subject that’s been heavy on my heart: toxic masculinity and fem shaming in the gay community. Masculinity and femininity play an important role in human nature, but the expectations of each man and woman make it toxic. Being someone with a high pitched voice and a feminine touch, I’ve been ridiculed, bullied, and outcasted my whole life. To this day, I still experience it in my personal life and the gay community as well. This is all bullshit, and it’s time to talk about it.
Toxic Masculinity and Me: A Personal Story
In this episode, I tell a personal story of the time I met someone on Tinder. We had spoken for a good few days and connected pretty well until he began asking questions. It went from “what’s your aspirations in life?” to “are you feminine or masculine?”. At that point, I knew this would go south because of my past experiences. To make this short, he heard my speaking voice and turned me down. After this story, it’s a great lead into the rest of the episode.
Toxic Masculinity in the Gay Community
Brace yourselves for a timeline starting from my personal experiences of fem shaming through to a good “shut the fuck up” to all the perpetrators. I’m shining a light on the fact that feminine gay men get the worst of discrimination when it comes to homophobia within and without the gay community. In fact, Grindr unintentionally exposes toxic masculinity; It’s led me to shy away from sex altogether, for now at least. Regardless, this isn’t about preference and more about prejudice; let’s cut the bullshit.
Who Should Grow a Pair?
If being a man is all about bravery and strength, then I’m wondering who the real “men” are. Are they the ones that use masculinity to mask their lack of confidence in their own inner vagina? Or are they the ones who dare be themselves in a world where their lives are threatened for it? Is it the men who degrade masculinity by making it a standard or the ones who simply live as they are regardless? In other words, who should grow a pair?
I want to give a special thanks to Purple Planet Music for providing me with this fun and quirky little introduction music that I owe no rights to <3 You guys make magic and I’m happy to have found you! xoxoxo