It’s even more magical than Disney World, believe me you.
You read that title correctly and I happily wrote it. Being single and even more so dating yourself is something well worth while and an absolute must for the broken ones like myself. I was once forever a slave to wasted energy pondering about my worth as it depended on love, sex, and validation. Now, my energy is geared towards prioritizing self-improvement. Also, dating has been happily put on a back-burner. In other words, men mean nothing to me and being single is a liberation that means everything.
Moving forward, are you the type to get extremely bored of romance within a week? Better yet, how about when he calls you beautiful on the first date. Do you get extremely turned off without reason? And how about looking for your emotionally abusive and unavailable father in a man? Doesn’t it get extremely exhausting having to piece together all the shattered parts of your broken heart after every failed attempt at romance? Well, then being single and learning to love the f*ck out of yourself is exactly what you need. All in all, it was everything my past self needed to get me to this point now.
Self abuse in the name of validation just isn’t worth it
Abusing myself had been an addiction in which giving up dating seemed to be a far-fetched cure I never wanted to entertain. Being sexless for a good while to regroup was the main fear. I could not go a single day without talking to a man, looking for approval, and then dwelling on ten million reasons why he wouldn’t like me. At what point was I going to actually be able to let go and live my life free of standards and broken expectations of romance?
It was years of horror, to say the least. All I craved was attention, physical contact, romance, and overall validation. My worth laid in the hands of every man who rejected me for not fitting into the social construct of perfection. In fact, romance was the goal I kept missing when chasing wet pavements and falling deep. After time passed, I began to desire better for myself, but being single was still my biggest fear. My darling, if you can relate then I compel you to keep reading.
Patience isn’t always the best virtue
Within due time, my patience for the “game” wore thin and evaporated for my insecurities. Meaningless conversations on dating apps led me to not only grow tired, but bored of an overrated emphasis placed on sex and romance. Weeks would pass by without answering messages on Grindr and Tinder, and the panic I felt about answering became non-existent. Ultimately, this was the nirvana my soul had been craving for. It was an opening to the beginning of learning to embrace loneliness as a form of self love.
When I say that this had become magic, I mean it one-thousand percent. If you are stuck in the mindset of needing to be with somebody everyday but craving change, choose the single road. It will become a very lonely path at first, but smokers quitting have to overcome the barrier of the first two days to live a cleaner life. Loneliness is a wretched nightmare in the beginning, but soon it will heal in ways a third leg never could. And you are beyond worth it.
Diving into what makes being single super magical
After choosing to embrace the single life, I began to take myself to places I never would have before if I were continuously glued to Grindr and Tinder. Rather than spend hours in bed trying to find a man to throw me down and spank me, I began frequenting Malibu and the canyons. It’s as if my whole life I only saw black and white but began seeing neon when I chose to embrace the fears of being alone. Being single, you have the best opportunity to expand your boundaries of travel, food, and experiences. How could you do that if you were tied down and in a relationship lacking romance simply to be around someone?
That’s the magic of being single, my dear. You don’t have to adhere to anyone nor your demons. The pain of loathing your body becomes less intense because you’re not eating to impress. So then the french fries from Jack in the Box become the tastiest morsels you could devour guilt-free, and that’s magical too! Of course, everyone has their own opinion about sex, romance, dating, and all things of that tricky nature. However, this happiness I’ve experienced in growing and being a stand for myself is irreplaceable. Additionally, it never would’ve began had I not grown extremely sick and tired of laying my worth in dirty hands covered with dry baby batter.
The journey could seem to be extremely frightening, but remember that the single life is pure magic. You are worth ten times more than the hands you lay yourself in to feel complete. Always remember that. You come first no matter who, what, where, when, and blah. Shower yourself with roses and romantic getaways. Taste the wonders of being single and embrace the f*ck out of it. I know I don’t regret it and am certain you won’t either!